Wednesday, 25 February 2015

The Woman and the Dolphin.

Dear Self,

I know you are convinced that you have your best ideas in the middle of the night. I have told you before that this is fallacy, but you never believe me. I can tell you don’t because you insist on keeping a pen and notebook in your bedside drawer and you insist on writing in that notebook in the middle of the night. No matter how many times I tell you if an idea is really good you’ll have it more than once, or that the best ideas come in the day time after research, hard work and a good nights sleep. Things are going to change, because now, I have evidence. I present to you the play you outlined at 3am the other night under the heading ‘Best idea ever.’

A woman who runs a gardening business advertises for an assistant, a dolphin is the only applicant. At the interview they have this conversation.

Woman: Sorry, I’m not sure if you can be my gardening assistant, you have no hands.
Dolphin: Hey man, dolphins are the gardeners of the coral reef. I can hold any trowels in my mouth.
Woman: I don’t know about that.
Dolphin: Come on lady, what have you got to loose? I’m the only person here.
Woman: Okay, I’ll give you one chance dolphin.

The woman hires the dolphin. After a lot of crazy ups and downs they win the Chelsea Flower Show together and the woman is the Best Man at the dolphin’s wedding.

Please write this properly, it will be awesome!!!

Okay, so now we’ve both had chance to read that over I think we can agree writing it down was an act of madness on your part. I want you to think about this next time you have an idea you ‘just have to’ write down, an idea in the middle of the night, I want you to remember the last time you did that it ended in a woman being a dolphin’s Best Man.

Here’s the thing self, there is a reason things look so much better by lamplight than they do in sunlight, it’s because you can’t see them properly.

Put you pen down and go to sleep.


you in the morning x

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