Thursday, 4 December 2014

Guess Who's Back?

'The most anticipated return to blogging of 2014' - The Times

'McHugh makes a triumphant return to a scene that was floundering without her.' - The Guardian

'Oh yeah, I vaguely remember you.' People Who Used To Follow Me.

'Um, yeah I guess you could start blogging again if you really want to.' - My Mum

'Please for the love of God stop asking me if you should start blogging again. Why can't you just let me live my life? I will pay you with money to leave me alone.' - That Guy I Chased Down The Street That One Time.

Hi, my name is Letty and this used to be my blog. For anyone who doesn't remember me here are the essential facts: I am 23 and an artist, I live in Yorkshire, I genuinely believe I can reason with the weather and I made some of those reviews up. (The one about my mum obviously, she thinks my blog is the best. Just like those guys at The Guardian.) I’m super excited to announce my return to blogging, and I’m sure you guys are just as excited to have me back. What’s up? I’m sensing resistance. Look, I know the last two years have been hard for you guys, spending endless nights refreshing this page hoping for an update, going into bookshops and changing copies of “Where’s Wally?” to say “Where’s Letty?” and then running away crying, I heard somewhere that they re-opened those phone lines they had when Take That split up just to reassure my heartbroken followers, but I’m back now, It’s all going to be okay. You still don’t believe me? Okay, I get that. You’ve been hurt before and that last thing I posted did include the words “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere” but if you would just let me explain why I left, and how it’s going to be different this time around I think you would understand, and maybe start to trust me again. You don't have to hang around, just hear me out. Deal? Deal.

Okay, so let's start by going over The Three Main Reasons I Abandoned You Like a Heartless Jerk:

1.      I Took Digital Publishing.

Around the time I stopped updating this blog I decided to take digital publishing, it was an unmitigated disaster. Well no, I exaggerate, it wasn’t any kind of disaster I got a high 2:1 for the module and it comes in really handy now that social media is sort of my job. Because I took Digital Publishing when people are like “Why should I pay to you to do this?” I can go “Hey man, I studied this stuff.  At University.” 
      The truth is that whole module just wasn’t really what I signed up for. I was expecting digital publishing with digital being the operative word, I thought we were going to learn to code and build apps and generally do cool whizzy things using the internet, but it turned out that publishing was the operative word and we spent all the time talking about the publishing industry and what the internet and new technologies mean for the publishing industry. We looked at a lot of stats and graphs, and the dryness of it all sort of made me lose my taste for blogging.  

2.      My life went insane.

I’ll probably elaborate about this at a later date, but for now, let’s just say it’s been a crazy two years and parts of it were the opposite of fun times, and the worst parts of it happened shortly after I stopped updating. So digital publishing had killed off my desire to blog and dealing with my life ensured I didn’t really have to time either.

3.      I slept with WordPress...

…and Tumblr and Twitter and Pinterest. Look, we never said this was an exclusive thing, and I was curious, I wanted to try something different. I am so sorry. It never felt the same. The time I spent with them was the time I could have been spending with you. I know that now. That two years we spent together was a magical time for me, and I know it meant something to you too. I made a mistake, but I want to try again. Take me back Blogger, you are the only platform for me.

PS. I’m still going to see Twitter and Tumblr and Pinterest, but not WordPress, WordPress is a bitch.

Alright, I'm glad we've got that out in the open. Don't you feel better? No, obviously you don't, I've basically  just rubbed salt in your wounds by outlining my betrayal  but you will feel after you read The Three Main Reasons Why Everything’s Going to be Different This Time Round:

1.      I have at least three usable post ideas.
I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is probably more post ideas than I ever had in my illustrious blogging career. In the old days, I just used to sit down and brain vomit whatever was in my head onto my keyboard then put it on the internet with zero percent editing. Things are different now, I have real ideas, some of them about serious things, and I’ve even outlined them, in a notebook. If notebook outlines aren’t the very definition of commitment and maturity I don’t know what is.

Evidence: this very post outlined in my notebook.
(Thats right, I planned this.)
2.     I started thinking in blog posts again.
Before, when I used to update the blog regularly I thought in blog posts, by which I mean as things were happening I would be imagining how best to blog about them, I would fall over and think “Oh man, this is going to be so funny when I blog about it.” Then I got twitter, and I’d fall over and think “oh man, twitter is going to love this." instead. Recently though I’ve been finding twitter kind of frustrating, it’s so blunt, there’s only really room for the punch line and I miss telling the story. I want to talk about the build up to my public humiliations, I want to talk about the aftermath, I want space for details, and for that, you need more than 140 characters. I need a blog. (Or real life people to talk to, but those guys are always trying to tell me about their own life and they are so boring.)

3.      I’m super busy now.
That sounds like an argument against blogging, but trust me it’s an argument for it. I have a million other things that I should be doing right now, which makes this blog procrastination, which I think we all know is what all good blogs should be.

Now you’ve read that you are totally convinced I’m back for good right? Wrong. You won’t be convinced until you've seen some more posts. I guess I can understand that, but you should stick around baby because there is plenty more bullet point based rambling where this came from.

1 comment:

  1. Hey gurl, glad you're back, Wordpress is nothing but a cruel temptress. Love x